Car Horns?

have i brought this up already? probably. getting old. can’t remember shit at all anymore.
driving with steph today, and she needed to let the jackass in front of us to stop texting and start driving because the light was no longer green. simple enough. except when she honked, the lady, who was obviously frantic and malnourished, freaked out. granted we slammed her with our sonic blaster of a horn that comes with a jeep . . . upset, cursing at us for rushing her. blah blah. her bad, i know. but i really think we need two horns in cars. all we wanted to do was nudge her, not scare the shit out of her. you know?
seriously . . . how about . . .

1) a polite, “excuse me ma’am or mister, gently place your smartphone in the cup holder to your right and step on the fucking gas – and its illegal for you to be texting anyway” horn sound. nothing harsh. any one of the many smartphone sounds would work actually. the little dog bark ring tone. or the duck perhaps . . . just a quick painless little slap in the ass to let the person know that they should pay attention.

then . . .

2) a “WATCH THE F OUT YOU’RE ABOUT TO SLAM INTO THE BACKSIDE OF A SEWAGE TANKER” / “YOU JUST CUT ME OFF TO MAKE A DANGEROUS LEFT SO YOU COULD SHAVE OFF A COUPLE SECONDS ON YOUR WAY TO A MEETING WITH SOMEONE WHO HATES YOU ANYWAY” type of horn. simple enough i’d say. need not change your current car’s horn sound. most suit this particular expression i’d say.

bam. done. been thinking about this stupid idea for ages. pretty sure i tweeted this ages ago when it first entered my brain. but you know, some things need to be emphasized.

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